Hockey, Cancer, Life

October 27, 2014.  That was the last time I logged on to this site and wrote a blog post.  Why did I stop?  I really couldn't tell you, but I did.  Over the past two years there were a couple of times I thought I should write something and then I decided not to.  I'm not a great writer by any stretch of the imagination and who even cares what I have to say?

Today, for some reason I just got the "itch" to write again.  You'll have to forgive me for the "quality" as it's been a while.  On second thought,..that's not right.  I will write what I think and I will do so using the language I use every day and if the spelling or punctuation is not correct...you'll just have to deal with it.

Now for the reason for this post.  I was scrolling through Facebook, just minding my own business when I got a text message.  This message was from Twitter and it was an RT by Erik Karlsson of a tweet made by Nicholle Anderson thanking everyone for their love and support.  This tweet got me to thinking about athletes and their families and the fans who love them.

For those of you who might not know, Nicholle Anderson is the wife of Ottawa Senators goalie Craig Anderson.  This past week, we learned that she had been diagnosed with Cancer.  We don't know what kind and that's none of our business really.  What we do know is that Craig left the Sens to join his wife and two young children during this difficult time.  He took a leave of absence and no one knew for just how long.  The next game, the Sens' backup goalie, Andrew Hammond, was hurt and with Craig gone, that would mean the Sens would be left with two minor league goalies for an indeterminate amount of time. Nicholle urged Craig to call the team's GM and to re-join the Sens the next day.   

I know how it feels to have a member of your family be diagnosed with that horrible disease and I'm not sure I would have cared about anyone outside my family at that time.  The fact that she even cared is a testament to the kind of person she is.  I've never met her and have only seen her a couple of times at the rink but what I do know is that my heart went out to her and her family when the news was announced. 

When Craig returned to the team and played the next game, you knew it was probably going to be an emotional game for him and for the entire Sens team.  I don't think anyone knew just how special it would be.  Craig posted a shutout against the Oilers in Edmonton, was named first star, and received an ovation from the Edmonton crowd.  You could see the emotion all over his face and you had to know this one was for Nicholle. 

Cancer is such a horrible disease.  Over the past few years, a few people I know have been touched / ravaged by it. 

My father was diagnosed with prostate cancer and with multiple treatments was able to fight it.  He's now doing well and on Friday we're making our annual Christmas donuts.  Through it all, we haven't missed a year of making our doughnuts. :)

Last February, my friend and Sens PA announcer, Stuntman Stu was diagnosed with Leukemia and has gone through months of treatment but is now back working at the rink.  It's so nice to see him around again and he looks so good.

My good friend Lola (Laurel) was diagnosed with Melanoma, had surgery and everything looked to be good as far as I knew for a little while and then it came back.  Sadly, she lost her battle (can someone find better words for this?) in April of this year.  This one hit me hard because it was unexpected to me.  I remember the phone call telling me she was gone.  It took me a few days to process it and going to her service was heartbreaking.

For Nicholle, she's starting her battle and I am sending all my good thoughts and prayers to her and her family.  We don't know when Craig will leave again and for how long, but it doesn't matter.  Hockey is just a game and family is the most important.  I hope everyone will support him during this time. 

This Saturday November 5, 2016 is Hockey Fights Cancer night at Canadian Tire Centre.  Being a season ticket holder since 1999, I've been there for many of these and always support it.  This year is even more special in light of everything.  If you can, I hope you will support the initiative.

Nicholle, Craig, I will be thinking of both of you.  I wish I could do more to support you, but will be sure to donate to Hockey Fights Cancer this Saturday.  Take care of each other! 

Julie/@Flip_4

Christmas prep in full swing

Yes, I know.  It's really early to start all the Christmas preparations / cooking.  In our case, we really don't have much of a choice this year.

My father's prostate cancer surgery is on November 6th (it was moved up from November 20th) and that means we are fast forwarding through all the preparations.  We have 3 weeks to do everything.  Actually, for most of the stuff, my parents have 3 weeks to get it all done, but I am determined to help them out with as much as I possibly can.

Today, I went to their house and helped them make some "tourtières".  We made 15 of them.  It was long and tedious, but they are now done.

As a bonus, we made my dad some "pêtes de soeurs".  If you've never had these, you are MISSING out!!  So good!!

On Saturday, it's my Dad and I's annual tradition of making donuts..  In all the years I've been making these with my dad, we have never done them in October.  Most of the time, it's well into December.  Since we don't know what condition my dad will be in after his surgery, we're not taking any chances.

I certainly hope there will be some left by Christmas. I have to remember to keep them away from my brother in law.  I'm also giving out a lot of them so I hope we can make enough for that or else some people might be disappointed.

Somewhere in the next 3 weeks, we also have to find the time for butter tarts.

I'm not a baker, but I will do it for my dad. :)

It's a little odd for me to start on the Christmas spirit so early, but life happened and made the decision for us.  The only thing that probably won't happen on Saturday is that we won't be listening to Christmas music while making the donuts.  It just seems way too early for that, then again, I'll leave it to my Dad to decide that.

With any luck, everything will be done on time and my parents will be able to relax after his surgery and enjoy some quiet time before the holiday season truly begins.

.

Fear of the unknown

These past weeks since September 12th have been long, long, long.

The reason is that we're waiting for results for my Dad to tell us just how bad this cancer is.  The worst part of it all is the fear.

Fear of the unknown.

At least if we knew, we could deal with it.  Currently, all we know is that he has prostate cancer.  We don't know the severity nor the treatment that will be taken.  All we can do is wait until October 4th.

I have to tell you that for me, the waiting is the worse.  It helps to have friends, work and for me, the Jordan Knight concert tomorrow (Oct 3rd)...a blessing in disguise since it will keep me from sitting at home alone the night before the results, just worrying myself silly.

I have felt the fear almost every day when I have just too much time to think.  Today, it was while driving in to work.  The fear was just overwhelming.  I KNOW all the stats, I KNOW that it's the most treatable cancer, but I just can't stop the fear.

As bad as I feel, I can't even imagine how my Mom and Dad are feeling right now.  I've caught some glimpses of it a few times in the past 3 weeks, but I don't think my Dad is really letting us (his daughters) see just how scared he is.  It breaks my heart.

Of course, I try not to show my fear to my parents either, they need to see that I am strong and can handle things if they need to turn to me for support.  I will be there for them no matter what.

I really just want October 4th to get here as quickly as possible.  I want to know what my Dad is facing and how we will deal with it as a family.

I want the fear to go away!!!

Words and emotions Continued - Cancer

About a month ago, the scary word for me was "biopsy".  That has now changed to "cancer".

Yesterday, my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer.  Let's just say that the emotions the past 24 hours have been intense.

I've pretty much run through all stages - shock, panic, fear, anger, sadness.  You name it, I've felt it. I'm probably still under the shock of it, but what I call "Logical Julie" has started to peek through all the emotions after hiding for those 24 hours.

Since we don't have all the details of this cancer, we don't know just how bad it is.  Of course, cancer is never good, but as we all know, there are varying degrees.  We're not going to find out  too much more until my dad goes through more tests.

Then there's the chosen form of treatment to go through.  Either radiation or surgery.at this point.

I have read all the stats, I know that prostate cancer is one of the most treatable cancers and we have no reason to believe my dad will not be one of the survivors.

Now it's a matter of being there and strong for my dad and my mom.  I want my dad to know that I'm there for him any time he needs me.  I want to pass along some of my strength to him and I want him to feel like he can talk to me about anything.

I don't take my parents for granted as they are fantastic, and this just reinforces the appreciation for them even more.

I know I will still have the days where "Logical Julie" will take a vacation day or two, but I am lucky that I have friends and family to help with those times.   I think this will make my family stronger and closer.still.

It's time now for "Crazy Julie" and "Logical Julie" to get some sleep to be sure to be strong when needed.

Dad: Je t'aimes et je suis ici pour toi...toujours.

Words and emotions

Words are so powerful and some more so depending on how close to a situation you are.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine had a family member who needed to go for a biopsy.  I was concerned for her and her family and made sure she knew I was there if she needed to talk.  I also sent prayers and good thoughts her way. (We do the only thing we can in situations like this).  

As scary as “Biopsy” sounded then…it sounds worse now.

Last week I found out that my dad needs to go for a biopsy for his prostate.  Suddenly the word is so much scarier to me.   The first thought that came to my mind of course was “Cancer”, another very scary word.  

I then went into my ‘logic mode’ and decided that there wasn’t any use in getting overly worried over something that we don’t have any information about yet.  Yes, of course I am concerned, but am waiting for the results before letting full panic set in.  

As strong as my ‘logic mode’ is though, the thought of a biopsy and what it could mean to everyone involved is terrifying right now.  I’ve spoken to people who have gone through this and have done some basic research and I know that the chances are good that everything will be ok…but the word “biopsy” still scares me.  I’m just hoping that it isn’t followed by that other horribly scary word.

The biopsy is tomorrow and I will be there with my parents for support.  I don’t like feeling helpless and any little thing I can do, I will do.  Then all we can do is wait until the results come in.

I will be strong for my family and will try to remain that way through the next couple of weeks. 

Biopsy…I don’t like that word and I will never like it. It doesn’t matter what the results are.