Saturday, October 6, 2012

Mixed emotions!!

My birthday is today and something that has happened for so many year on my birthday will not happen today.

I will not get a phone call from my Grand-maman.  I always knew that when I got home after my family celebration, there would either be a phone call coming up or a message on my phone wishing me a Happy Birthday. It's something that I've come to look forward to but this year, that won't happen.

In February, she passed away quite suddenly after a heart attack and it has hit me pretty hard.  I had never lost someone before and I didn't realize how hard it would be.  I think of her every day and miss her a lot.  I wish she was still here.

I've been told that it's the first year that is the hardest.  The "first" time not having her with us for all special occasions or other little events that mark our lives.  For example, if and when my dad and I make our Christmas Donuts this year, using her recipe, it's the first time we won't be getting her opinion on how well we succeeded.  I remember last year, she told us they were better than even hers were. Something as silly as that really made me happy.

Today, on my birthday, I will fondly remember all the times as a child that she made me special birthday cakes with her "Special Icing".  My whole family calls it "Le gla├žage de Grand-maman".   Then in later years, it was the phone calls. She was a fantastic Grandmother and I will remember that always.

Je t'aimes Grand-maman!!!!

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